We all have those fleeting thoughts of being in a new job, relationship, home, or country, etc. typically in response to life’s frustrations. For most of us, those thoughts are really just dreams that don’t linger. Our frustrations get resolved and we carry on our lives fully able to weather these types of temporary aberrations.
But what happens when those thoughts become more frequent, persistent, and occupy much of our day dreaming time. When our fantasies become charged with what life could look like if only…. it is often an indication that something drastic may be needed or at the very least that we pay serious attention to why we are driven to dreaming about something new.
Exploring these types of thoughts when they become more then just an occasional burble and begin to roar is important.
This usually signals that we need to spend time in reflection about what we need to move on from or to what is calling us? No one wants to be the person who only thinks about making a change and spends the latter part of our lives mired in regrets about those aspects of our lives we chose not to pursue.
However, resistance to change often begins to rear its head and if we don’t consciously and mindfully examine what we want and what we need, we may stay in a stuck position. Seeking answers through questions may prove helpful. Examples of places to start could be:
Reflect on a past positive change experience and ask yourself:
What was the best aspect of that life change event?
What types of supports did I seek out while making the change?
If you decided not to make a change or feel like you waited far too long to make one:
What was holding you back?
What types of statement were you making to yourself?
If you could have a complete redo and could go back and make the change happen, what steps would you take?
Recognizing that changes in our lives can be positive even when we don’t initiate them can help mitigate emotional upheaval when life changes seem overwhelming to us. Reflecting on these types of questions may help us to understand and acknowledge whether or not we embrace life changes or fear them.
What types of questions would help you understand if you are a change lover or a change loather?