Author: Linda Meyer

Hearts of Hope

I ventured out of my house this morning at my usual time for a walk and found the lack of people out and dearth of traffic noises somewhat eerie. The birdsong, however, was cheerful and loud, heralding the coming of spring and warmer weather.

I wanted to see if there were hearts in the windows of homes in our neighbourhood or messages in the shape of a heart along my route. At the end of one of our national news programs last evening, there was a short segment about a movement that parents and children have embarked on to inspire hope in others.

Many homes in the news clip had colourful hearts taped to windows and there were hearts with messages posted on poles and trees. Children and parents around the world have been posting these hearts to support and encourage each other. These images have gone viral on numerous social media sites and have also been sent to people through text message and emails. It was a pleasant way to end a difficult and challenging news program.

Foot traffic along the biking/walking path I typically travel along has been light as people are staying home and being mindful of social distancing to try and slow the rate of the COVID-19 virus. Lately, when I encounter other walkers or people on their bikes, we smile politely in acknowledgement but try to maintain our distance. I have missed the morning conversations that I often have with friends and neighbours who are also out walking early each morning.

Along the path this morning, I found a large red heart tied to one of the trees in the park that lies adjacent to where I was walking. It wouldn’t withstand too many days of strong winds or spring rain but was still where someone had placed it, most likely two days ago. The message written upon it was difficult to make out, but seemed to contain a note that we will get through this time together.

Further along the path, there were sidewalk chalk messages, now partially erased from a schiff of snow yesterday, imploring us to look after one another, and to help each other out by staying apart. Some of the messages appeared to be written by children and others I imagine were crafted by parents.

Laying down these thoughts in pastel colours, I imagine that parents created these messages in heart shapes to reassure their children, to support others as well as to cultivate a sense of optimism for the future within themselves. The resilience of families in our community and willingness to care for and encourage others is a positive sign that we will, indeed, get through this together.

On the final leg of my morning walk, I wandered down the street towards my home and did find several homes with colourful hearts taped on the inside of their windows. I was pleased to have discovered these images close by. It was a comforting and welcome sight.

It was a different walking experience through my neighbourhood this morning but discovering the number of hearts taped on living room windows, and sidewalk chalk messages written in the shape of a heart, was uplifting and serves as a welcome beacon of hope. I hope that you, too, find hearts of hope in your neighbourhood.

Stay healthy and well.

Staying Emotionally Connected while practicing Social Distancing

The biggest tip of all to promote healthy emotions as we age is to find a way to help others. It is much more difficult to be depressed or dreary if you are working to make someone else’s life better.

Daniel J. Levitin

The closure of our local libraries due to COVID-19 preventative measures came just after I picked up a copy of Daniel J. Levitin’s 2020 book, “Successful Aging: A neuroscientist explores the power and potential of our lives.”

Amidst the many amazing pieces of information I am absorbing from this dense and fascinating read, are the many ways in which hundreds of neurotransmitters and neurohormones interact in complex ways and influence our psychological and physiological well being.

The critical impact that our social connections can have on our neurological and emotional well being was clear in his writing.

At the same time, I have been trying to figure out the ins and outs of what social distancing entails, the basics of where I can go, what I can do and who I should see. I have also been obsessively monitoring the local, national, and international world news on the coronavirus and its deadly spread across the globe.

Each time I leave my computer, I then wash my hands and am now applying salve as I am developing a rash from excessive hand washing.

With all that is going on in the world, it has been challenging to keep a positive frame of mind and emotional balance.

Following more reflection on how to safely connect with others, I have been using technology as much as possible to reach out to family and friends to see how they are faring in these difficult times.

It has made me realize that I should make these efforts routine in my life and there has in fact, been a positive emotional impact after connecting with those I care about. Reaching out to those in our families, and our social networks, does in fact, contribute to emotional well being. Doing it more frequently, especially when life returns to some sense of normalcy, will be important for us all.

Connect with those you care about in safe and positive ways. Wash your hands, practice social distancing, and stay healthy and safe.

Facing doubt

Anyone coming into this creative realm has to know that it’s not all “fun,” and, in many ways, the further into it you go and the more successful you become, the more the challenges intensify.

Dave Brosha

One unsettling aspect of the reinvention process is facing doubts. Doubts abound as we take on creative endeavours that are different from what we have engaged in before in our lives. Questions of competence can plague us and derail our dreams if we let them.

I have looked at the opportunity to develop a writing practice and to follow my interests and passions after retiring from full time work as both a gift and at times, a curse.

No one told me how much effort it takes to learn a new skill and to develop your craft. Writing is a solitary profession where feedback can be non-existent and the aloneness aspect can be overwhelming. The feedback and achievement loops that we become used to in our regular work lives, don’t exist in the same form in the writing world.

Quite the opposite actually. Rejection is purported to be the rule rather than the exception. I have even set a goal around the number of rejections I hope to receive this year. Seems a bit topsy turvy from the world I just left.

The time required for learning the craft of writing can be a sacrifice that isn’t understood when you start. The self-imposed pressure to produce and to find some type of rythym for writing can be draining. At times, I have felt like stopping before I even start.

How do you develop strategies to remain creatively energized and work through the process of bad writing until you find the hidden gems through the editing process.

Writers can form a community of support around you and it is critical to choose those who are actually interested in your success rather than putting themselves above where you are currently at with your struggle.

Facing doubt seems to be a part of the process and getting through it has a learning curve all on it’s own. Approaching this work with a light heart, an intense curiosity about the world around me, and a healthy sense of humour have been the strategies that have worked best for me so far.

What keeps you going when doubt seems overwhelming?

Creativity in Crisis?

During this past week, I learned that one of our most reputable local literary publishing houses was closing, declaring insolvency, and had begun bankruptcy proceedings. For almost fifty years, local writers have had their publishing dreams realized and many others have been inspired by this independent publisher.

Along my journey to submit pieces of my writing, I have discovered that many literary print magazines have closed submissions due to lack of resources, and some no longer exist.

Last evening, I attended a lecture at the school of journalism at our local university. The theme of the lecture questioned the future of media. There is a tug and pull between carefully crafted press releases and genuine investigative reporting.

Is creativity in crisis? Certainly journalists and writers have been challenged more in the last few years as we have seen the rise of populism surface around the globe. Declarations of fake news obscure truth telling. Power is obtained and maintained by managing the narrative.

Fear, anxiety, and distrust can overwhelm us as we read through negative news feeds, read vitriolic attacks by organized trolls on social media, and plow our way through one global disaster after another. Should we be concerned about a pandemic or not? At times, our trust in the written word falters when there is so much contradiction and confusion.

There are certainly numerous challenges for writers and readers of the written word these days.

Yet, humans crave and require opportunities for creative expression whether it be through writing or another form. Imagination can be transformative. When we put pen to paper or fingers on the keyboard, we can lose ourselves in the process of creating words that allow us to share what is in our hearts and minds. Expression can be both healing and affirming.

Storytelling is the means we use to connect with one another. It is the medium in which we learn about our differences, our similarities, our pain and our joy. Let’s ensure that we continue to embrace our creative impulses and to share them with one another. Happy writing!

Are you a Change Lover or a Change Loather?

We all have those fleeting thoughts of being in a new job, relationship, home, or country, etc. typically in response to life’s frustrations.  For most of us, those thoughts are really just dreams that don’t linger. Our frustrations get resolved and we carry on our lives fully able to weather these types of temporary aberrations.  

But what happens when those thoughts become more frequent, persistent, and occupy much of our day dreaming time.  When our fantasies become charged with what life could look like if only…. it is often an indication that something drastic may be needed or at the very least that we pay serious attention to why we are driven to dreaming about something new.

Exploring these types of thoughts when they become more then just an occasional burble and begin to roar is important.

This usually signals that we need to spend time in reflection about what we need to move on from or to what is calling us?  No one wants to be the person who only thinks about making a change and spends the latter part of our lives mired in regrets about those aspects of our lives we chose not to pursue.

However, resistance to change often begins to rear its head and if we don’t consciously and mindfully examine what we want and what we need, we may stay in a stuck position. Seeking answers through questions may prove helpful. Examples of places to start could be:

Reflect on a past positive change experience and ask yourself:

What was the best aspect of that life change event?

What types of supports did I seek out while making the change?

If you decided not to make a change or feel like you waited far too long to make one:

What was holding you back?

What types of statement were you making to yourself?

If you could have a complete redo and could go back and make the change happen, what steps would you take?

Recognizing that changes in our lives can be positive even when we don’t initiate them can help mitigate emotional upheaval when life changes seem overwhelming to us.  Reflecting on these types of questions may help us to understand and acknowledge whether or not we embrace life changes or fear them.  

What types of questions would help you understand if you are a change lover or a change loather?

When i grow up i want to become a “raging granny!”

Peaceful Protests. Pickets. Distributing pamphlets that tell the “truth”. In my community, one of the most fascinating observations I have made since I retired from full time work, has been the level of activism by our senior citizens. The world’s attention has been focused on youth who seem inspired by Greta Thunberg and who are demanding we immediately address climate change.

But once you pay close attention to various protests that are becoming increasingly more frequent in the community, you will see that youth are not the only dominant age demographic. Seniors who are concerned about numerous challenges and egregious decisions that get made by our politicians, seem to be our community leaders for many of these activities.

Often times these highly educated, deeply concerned, and motivated community members are referred to as “raging grannies” by our local media. This term is used even though protest and activist moments held in the public realm are comprised of both men and women.

The first time I ever heard that term, it sounded as if it was made tongue in cheek. Poking fun at a small group of women who were protesting outside of city hall. Just recently, I listened to a respected journalist who described the “raging grannies” as a coherent, organized group who demand to be listened to and should be.

The national and international media pays attention to efforts made by senior celebrities like Jane Fonda, David Suzuki, Nancy Pelosi, among many others but what about right in your own back yard. Who are the people right in our own communities that we should be paying more attention to?

I have an active and engaged mother who recently made a presentation to elected city officials about concerns with our transit system. She created and delivered an articulate and impassioned plea for city leaders to at least try to ride the bus through our city so they could learn about the gaps in service and unsafe practices first hand. Rather than simply complain about her concerns, she took action and contributed to the process of positive change.

The more I pay attention to the activism of our community based “raging grannies”, the more I see. There are so many issues of grave concern in front of each and every one of us. It seems paramount to listen to our elders and do our best to engage in what we are passionate about and become more involved. I think that it is time for all of us to lend our voices in some meaningful way to making better choices for our future.

Can Accountability help us avoid Writer’s Block?

One of the challenges that I have found while developing a writing practice is becoming accountable for it. No one forces us to create in whatever form of expression we use. And as I am becoming more comfortable with the craft of writing, and am learning more skills, it seems that the potential for becoming blocked increases.

That is concerning.

I have been reading a wide variety of books on the art and craft of writing and am becoming ever curious about the concept of writer’s block. Many writers develop rituals that must be followed before the words will flow. Others seem to have developed unique and individual work arounds to avoid writer’s block. Some don’t even believe that it exists. There seem to be a myriad of opinions about the concept of writer’s block.

It seems that choosing a path of accountability would serve to help us forgo periods of writer’s block.

Being accountable is simply being responsible for your work. Imagine a doctor telling you that they are unable to see you because they are currently “blocked”. What would happen to anyone of us if we simply did not show up for work. Or if we decided that it was mission critical to walk the dog first, make sure the laundry was done, and spent hours “researching” information via the internet to inform or inspire our writing. If we chose to do that in the work world, the consequences of those types of choices are obvious.

Blogging has become one of my anchors to accountability for my writing practice. Having committed to writing and publishing one post each week has actually increased my word count in other projects that I am working on. It is important to me to hold myself accountable in some way as I am learning to become a writer and this has turned into a strategy that also helps me maintain my focus.

The act of writing is not about being published, or having others scrutinize your work. By simply becoming committed to the act itself without all of the what if’s, it is much easier to sit and begin every day. The pact we make about our creative practices should first be with ourselves. Being accountable is also about honouring ourselves, our creativity, and the expressions of that, that bring us passion and purpose.

What do you do to hold yourself accountable to creative practice, whether it be expressing yourself through writing, photography, painting, or other art forms?

Let’s Talk about…

One of the things that I never included on my “to do” list when I was getting ready for early retirement were strategies to manage my “mental health”. I had a long list for all of the ways that I was going to improve my physical health once I had all of the time I envisioned that I would have once I left the full time work world.

Recently, I reviewed that “to do” list, which essentially was a wish list, and realized that I had somehow inadvertently believed that once I left full time work, my life would instantly improve. On an emotional level that is. And of course, whenever we engage in magical thinking, we are avoiding the hard work that is required to make a life change of any sort.

Transitions, really any life changing experience, will tax the best tools that we may have in our resilience tool kits. And resilience is about having positive mental health. I am now realizing how critical it is to think about all parts of being healthy from a holistic perspective.

And to talk about all of the many ways we are experiencing the ups and the downs in our lives. Or to write about them. The stigma that surrounds mental health may prevent us from reaching out to connect with others, or to seek out needed supports. It seems fitting to reflect on our mental health today.

January 29th has become an annual date for Canadians to engage in dialogue and conversation about mental health. Bell Canada, along with numerous national partners, has created a social media phenomenon to help reduce stigma about mental health. And to provide resources and funding for community based programs across Canada to enhance our mental health. Check it out at https://letstalk.bell.ca/en/

Take care of all aspects of yourself. And talk, think, read about mental health. Work to reduce stigma about mental health. Really, it is such an important and kind thing to do for ourselves and others. We have the ability to cultivate happiness in our lives and to create more opportunities for the aspects of our lives that help us thrive and reach whatever goals we aspire to. Happy Wednesday!

Flipping Fears

For the past two days, I have been wrestling with a number of seemingly random negative and fear inducing thoughts. One of my goals for this year has been to submit short pieces of my writing to various publications. My strategy was to create a spreadsheet to document all of the submissions and the subsequent rejections that I anticipate I will receive. My goal was to strive for as many rejections as possible.

Sounds a bit strange, doesn’t it?

But, it would mean that I am writing, and even more importantly, I am putting aside all of the fear that seems to co-exist with this vocational pursuit. At the time I created this goal and decided that I was going to send these pieces of creative work out into the world, it seemed innocuous. Really what is the big deal? All writers are subject to rejection, criticism, dismissive editors, and long waits before one may hear anything back from the publication they submitted their work to. Right?

Most writers know that this process is about moving forward, learning the craft, recognizing that the work may not be a good fit for a publication at that particular time but may in fact, fit somewhere else. And truthfully, how would anyone aside from you ever know whether or not you submitted something.

So with all of this knowledge firmly ensconced in my mind, as I began preparing to send something out for the very first time, I found myself in a strange twilight zone filled with fear. It was like an out of control hamster on a wheel was flinging chaotic thoughts around my head. I must have talked myself out of this submission process a hundred times.

Enough. I have taught others how to build resilience skills so why couldn’t I do the same for myself? I started by writing out some of the thoughts that had taking up a lot of real estate in my mind. They ranged from self-criticism to self-disgust to self-shaming and looked a bit like this:

Why even bother – this is an exercise in futility – there is no way I am as competent as other writers? I can’t even format these documents properly so why would an editor even bother to look at what I have written? How can you write a bio if you have never published anything? And really who sets a goal to to count all of the rejections they receive as a writer?

And so on…these horrible thoughts continually popped across my thought screen, and even occurred while I was sleeping, so yesterday I decided that was enough.

Time to flip these fears and really look at what the downside to not submitting my writing might be. At the end of this exercise, I realized that I would be left with paralyzing regret if I didn’t start somewhere. I would be missing out on all of the learning moments from the process and if I keep at this, eventually I may end up with a notation other than a rejection to enter into my spreadsheet.

So I flipped my fear around, and have just sent my first piece of work out. Regardless of what happens with this, I am in the process of reinventing my life and recognize that small steps will move me closer to where I want to go. And if I want to pursue writing as a craft, I will need to challenge those negative thoughts and keep moving forward.

What about you? How do you flip your fears and move forward in spite of all of the thoughts that may fill your mind with negativity and prevent you from doing what you really wish to do?

How do you know when it’s time to make a change in your life?

They always say time changes things but you actually have to change them yourself

Andy Warhol

Most of us experience fleeting moments where we wish that entire aspects of our lives were different. These thoughts often send us off into fantastical daydreams that may not seem grounded in reality. Sometimes these moments are inspiring and we envision making momentous changes that seemingly would alter our experience in the best possible way.

Perhaps we dream that we could do this without even having to put in all of the hard work involved in transformation and reinvention. Or without having the skills required to master a new pathway in our journey. Or maybe you have put in the hard work and acquired the requisite skills but still remain stuck in some way.

Other times we engage in negative and anxiety provoking visions of the worst possible scenarios that might occur if we did actually make any changes in our lives. We may know that negative thoughts might be holding us back but sometimes our tendency to ruminate keeps us stuck. Stopping negative thinking or simply choosing more positive thoughts are often not helpful when we truly desire making changes in our lives.

But what this type of thinking does do for us, is to signal to us that some aspect of our lives may need to change. When our thoughts are calling for us to pay attention, what do we do next? Engaging in reflection is critical for our resilience and well-being. Spending time to ponder what is working or not working in our lives can be powerful and may motivate a change that is needed. Taking stock by pondering questions allows us to cast our net as narrow or as wide as we feel comfortable with.

Some possible questions to consider when you can’t stop thinking about the need for change in your life:

How would growth opportunities make a difference for us, actually make our lives improve?

What is it that we truly wish to spend our time on?

What investments of time and effort are we realistically willing to devote your energy to?

How can we intentionally stretch ourselves?

Are we running away from some aspect of our life?

Or are we moving towards something that will have a profound impact on what we are going forward with in the future?

What holds us back from pursuing change? Fear? Lack of Support? Resources?

The process of guided reflection can be a helpful tool. These are some of the questions that I considered before I embarked on creating major changes in my life. How would you know that it is time to make some type of change in your life? What types of questions would you ask? I would appreciate hearing how your change or reinvention journey may have begun. Happy Wednesday!