Tag: writing

Climbing the empathy ladder

An empathy wall is an obstacle to a deep understanding of another person, one that can make us feel indifferent or even hostile to those who hold different beliefs or whose childhood is rooted in different circumstances.

Arlie Hochschild
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In 2016, American sociologist, Arlie Hochschild wrote a book titled, “Strangers in their own land”. Many read with interest this exploration and examination of the United States and the rise to power of President Trump. One concept that she outlined has stuck with me over the past four years. In order to understand others who have different values, beliefs and attitudes than us, we may need to climb over an empathy wall in order to develop connections with them.

During these anxiety provoking times, the American presidential debate might have provided a beacon of light and hope for the future. But sadly, it did not. It was simply a spectacle the likes of which most analysts suggest they had never seen before. I have always watched them to develop a deeper understanding of our neighbours to the south.

Although the news feeds seem to be rife with scenes of protest, divisiveness, and violence in America, there are many pressing concerns to be addressed not the least of which is the global pandemic. Perhaps my expectations for this televised debate were too high, but I watched anticipating a signal that things would be moving in a more positive direction.

There wasn’t one.

One wonders how difficult it will be during the next few months for people to climb “an empathy wall” in order to develop connections to work with one another.

Hopefully, the inherent goodness in humanity will prevail and people will be able to climb over this chasm of division so globally we can begin to move forward. Perhaps a sense of hope is the ladder we need to get to where we need to be.

Stay healthy and safe!

Listen carefully

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I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.

Ernest Hemingway

Reading news feeds over the past couple of days reveals that on a global level we are not using our ability to listen to one another. There is a constant cacophony of voices aggressively demanding to be heard. Political rhetoric is ramping up, the anxiety of re-opening and returning to school and work is significantly heightened, and people everywhere seem to be shouting at each other.

Listening is a skill that we have to work at and today it seems to be at risk of becoming lost as we collectively demand that others meet our needs. Stepping back, it seems nonsensical that politicians have to resort to shaming us into following public health orders in an effort to keep us safe. Public health doctors who are working tirelessly on our communal behalf, are now having to hire security as their lives are being threatened.

I wonder what it will take for us to learn to listen to one another. It seems that there is no time but the present for humans to work at this particular life skill.

Take the time today to notice the simple task of listening. Are the people in your world hearing your voice? Are you reciprocating and hearing the voices of others before reacting and responding to them? We are constantly and consistently being told to follow some basic strategies to move through this pandemic in the safest possible way.

Our future outcomes seem to depend on a simple yet difficult to achieve skill – listening to one another. Imagine what could happen if all of the people around us would actually take the time to truly listen to what is being shared about the need for everyone of us to follow some basic guidelines.

It is going to take a collective global effort of working together to move through this pandemic. That likely means setting aside some of our needs in order to keep others in our communities safe.

And it will start with all of us taking the time to listen to others around us about how to achieve this.

Stay healthy and safe!

Shifting adversity to opportunity

Photo credit L Meyer

Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging

Joseph Campbell

Typically at this time of the year children return to school and many people are back in the full swing of work following summer vacation and are getting set to resume a myriad of activities. This year there is nothing really “typical” about any of this. Many people around the globe have been challenged by uncertainty caused by the pandemic and our anxiety seems to be hovering at peak levels these days.

Reframing some of the current challenges in our lives as circumstances in which we can develop and strengthen resilience may be helpful. Drawing on the concept of transformational coping, we can learn to perceive stressful events less as threats and more as opportunities for personal growth and development.

Many of our daily routines and plans, both short term and long term, have been disrupted. But there is really choice in how we go about choosing to respond to these chaotic times. If we dig deep to understand how we are adapting and becoming creative, there is a mother lode of lessons that may be helpful for our future selves.

Taking time to focus on what could be rather than what we had hoped would be happening in our lives can help us to remain positive. It is all too easy to dwell on the negative events in our lives and keep ourselves in a place of feeling stuck and overwhelmed. Nothing in our lives has ever been “certain” and clinging to that illusory notion can take us to dark places.

What learning must occur in our lives in order to become more comfortable with constant changes – to foster skills to help us become more resilient? And how does this learning create empathy for those around us who are struggling with the same circumstances? These times are ripe for personal growth that might be missed if we choose not to look for it. Knowing that we still have choice about how we wish to grow during this moment in time seems like it might be key to helping us pivot to where we need to go.

Stay healthy and safe!

Sifting through a kaleidoscope of emotion

Photo by L. Meyer

The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It’s our fear of the dark that casts our joy into shadows.

Brene Brown

It seems challenging to say the least, to stay grounded and positive with so much anxiety and uncertainty looming in our lives these days. It seems that many of us are experiencing an ongoing kaleidoscope of mixed emotions.

We may be watching to understand how the return to school for students around the globe will turn out.

Waiting for information about the timing of a safe vaccine.

Worrying about political pandemonium close to home.

Wondering about the possibility and probability of a second wave.

Feeling frustrated that the positivity of earlier months in the pandemic seems to have vanished.

Being courageous during trying times requires conscious and mindful attention to all that is good in our lives. Finding the self-knowledge within to understand that life is about seeking balance. Being grateful for what we have. Recognizing that shifting between the positive and negative allows us to see the value of both.

Reaching out to our people as often as we can. Our connections with one another remain the most important aspects of our lives. Respecting that will enable us all to safely get through these trying times. May you find both joy and light during these difficult times.

Stay healthy and safe!

Catching our breath

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Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes…including you

Anne Lamott

Have you noticed an uptick with your neighbours, or friends, family members talking more about their theories of what might transpire when the kids return to school. Do your conversations now include discussions about the number of active cases of COVID-19 infections as handily as we used to discuss the weather? How often do you find yourself checking online after local health officials release the number of new and recovered cases in your community?

Our news feeds seem full of angry vitriol about what we should or should not be doing to move forward during this pandemic. Whether we should wear a mask or not. Or whether we should provide an economic hand up to those in need. This seems to be set against a backdrop of ongoing images of violence from the United States along with the ramping up of political rhetoric that is moving towards a tsunami of hatred.

At times it seems we have been caught in some strange gravitational pull into a vortex of negative news.

How do we step back from it all and regain our equilibrium?

It seems that we all need to take a collective step back, pause, and regain some balance. Return to a world that has people showing compassion for one another regardless of our identity. A world that once again cares about the environment, and no longer politicizes a public health threat. Finding our footing these days requires a tremendous amount of intentional emotional and psychological energy.

The most sensible strategy seems to be to simply put a pause on all of the outside noise and go analog for a few days. I have found that consciously seeking out opportunities to engage in acts of kindness, generosity, and show empathy for those around me also helps to reset. Writing, and other creative pursuits not only take up these spaces where negativity seems to have infiltrated my life but serve to remind me about the things that work to help me regain balance.

What will you do to reset during these difficult times?

Stay healthy and safe!

Random acts of “whimsy”

Photo credit – L Meyer

You must not ever stop being whimsical. And you must not, ever, give anyone else the responsibility for your life

Mary Oliver

Have you ever stopped to reflect on how many aspects of our lives are governed by work, productivity, money, politics, etc. As opposed to spontaneity, creativity, and playfulness. We often believe that we lose our ability to play as we develop into adulthood. But it doesn’t need to end there. There are many ways that adults can play, be creative, and share this wonderful trait with others.

I have walked by this collection of magical bird houses in my neighbourhood for a number of months without recognizing just how precious and rare this whimsical creation really is. Our ability to engage in playful, fanciful pursuits is often curbed by being too busy, too stressed, or taking ourselves and our lives too seriously.

Indeed, as we move forward in our lives, we also seem to lose our natural abilities to live in the moment. This causes many of us to ignore the simple joys that exist in our daily surroundings. And right now this all seems to be complicated by the many potentially destructive and harmful forces in our lives that are currently impacting so many people around the globe.

How do we find our way back to those moments in our lives where we can play, where we can simply be and briefly take time to step back to enjoy a chance to see life through a more playful lens. Seeking out the whimsical in our lives can be inspirational and bring meaning into our daily routines. By looking around our neighbourhoods and communities, we may be pleasantly surprised by the creations of others designed to bring small pleasures into the world for all of us to enjoy.

The more I walk mindfully each day in the area where I live, the more amazed I have become by the creative actions of others. Whether it is an art installation, guerrilla gardening on unused patches of land, or a whimsical birdhouse collection in a back alley. These playful creations underscore our positive and real connections to each other.

Now more than ever, we need to either seek out random acts of whimsy in our part of this world or to create them ourselves and share with others. We can’t underestimate the healing power of play and creativity!

Stay healthy and safe!

Achieve your dreams at any age

Photo credit – L. Meyer

It doesn’t matter how slow you go, as long as you don’t stop

Confucius

I find myself collecting stories about elders in my community who break through barriers after many years in order to follow their dreams. Each of these stories reveals that perseverance and passionate persistence can culminate in some amazing achievements. And each story comes with unique hurdles that must be surmounted and overcome.

This past week, I have been following the story of Jackie Arnason who published her first children’s book later in her life. The launch of this published book took place this past Sunday on “Book Lover’s Day”. In an interview with local media, Jackie described how reading and writing stories helped her while growing up in the 30’s. A time of immense challenge for most people growing up in the Canadian prairies.

Like many of the writers that I know, Jackie spoke of her passion for story telling and the fact that she finally came to terms with her fears which kept her from following that dream for decades. Finally, with encouragement from a family member who had connections in the publishing industry, she was able to push forward and realize her desire to see one of her stories in print.

What makes this journey even more noteworthy is that it occurred at age 87, which many of us can’t even quite imagine living to see, let alone being the age in which you finally begin accomplishing your long held goals.

Now energized by this success and with a new direction for her creative pursuits, Jackie is hard at work on her second children’s book to be published in the near future. As I listened to an in depth interview about this fascinating late in life journey, I couldn’t help but wonder what might have been different about this woman’s story if fear hadn’t intervened and kept her from moving forward.

How often do we find ourselves stuck or stymied because we are afraid of taking a risk? Afraid of being judged or of failing or of not measuring up to what we believe others can do. Fear holds many of us hostage and as I have been learning, it is never too late to stand up to our fears and overcome them.

It is remarkable to see the tenacity of the creative spirit. By seeking these amazing artistic elders out, it gives me courage to formulate my own later in life goals. By following our dreams at any stage of life and finding the courage to shed the chains of fear, we can only move forward.

Be healthy and safe!

Making a difference, one decision at a time

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One person can make a difference, and everyone should try

John F. Kennedy

Imagine if our world was led by leaders today who encouraged each of us to make a difference like strong leaders have done in the past. There has never been a more urgent need around the globe for strong leadership encouraging compassion, collaboration, and co-operation. We are surrounded by crisis and chaos and need to think of others during all of our day to day interactions.

Misinformation abounds and we need to carefully reflect on where our information originates from and consider the influence it has not only on ourselves but on others prior to sharing it.

When we put our personal needs and desires above the health and safety of others, it will eventually circle back to hurt us. Tragically, it may harm those you care about as well. Treat everyone in the same manner in which you would like to be treated. Globally, our lives depend upon a collective push forward to follow the golden rule.

Stay safe and healthy!

Finding that spark at any age

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If you find something you love it’s so exciting. Your brain is a bowl of energy. It gives you such passion for life. That is the power of creativity.

Thelma Pepper

One of the most fascinating women I have come across is a photographer who just yesterday celebrated her 100th birthday. Thelma Pepper didn’t begin her creative journey until she turned 60. It was at that point in her life, she embarked on a long career creating stunning black and white portraits of people from rural Saskatchewan. She elevated her subjects, celebrating hardworking people who had amazing stories that would have otherwise never have been told. Thelma also told compelling stories through her camera lens, about the lives of many individuals living in long term care homes.

Her message of finding something you love to do especially later in life is both impressive and inspiring. Creativity does stimulate energy and it can appear at any age or stage of life. I have noticed during this time of physical and social isolation that I was missing that creative spark. My attention span seemed to have vanished and finding that energizing passion for either photography or writing has been almost non-existent. At best, I have been able to revisit pieces of writing and photos taken and focus on an editing process instead of creating anew.

My writing practice seems stunted, some of the tricks that have worked in the past no longer inspire. I am putting in the time but don’t feel that I have that upbeat energy I get when my brain and heart work in tandem. All of those editing tasks that I had been putting off are now completed and submissions for publication have been for writing pieces written some time ago. I have been missing that form of energy that completely envelopes you, making it hard to leave what you are doing when you are required to attend to something else.

Tired of cleaning the house, I have been seeking that elusive creative energy from the stories of other artists which led me to Thelma’s story. Her award winning art is stunning and her message is one of hope that at any age, we can navigate life transitions and begin a creative career by following what leads us to touch that passion within ourselves. What serves as your source of creativity and inspiration? Hopefully you are finding your way through this pandemic, overcoming the difficulties that may have arisen and are moving forward in the direction you would like to be going in.

Stay safe and healthy!

Learning on the fly

Have you ever stopped to consider how many aspects of daily living you have had to adjust or relearn to do over the past four months? This thought occurred to me when I was looking at the course details for “up skilling” in order to deliver a workshop that I have been teaching for the past couple of years. Teaching on Zoom or some other platform for 6 hours a day seems impossible to me at this moment in time but my guess would be in a year or two, I will be doing it and not batting an eye.

Shopping for groceries, trying to socialize within a “bubble”, attending a wedding on Zoom and spending hours considering where to vacation close to home this summer – all of these are things that have become a part of our new normal. Much of what we do is now done differently and have become consolidated behaviours in our lives. Hopefully anyways.

All of these activities in the beginning seemed difficult and nerve wracking. Either my brain has adapted and I have become more risk tolerant or I simply have developed and established new routines and ways of doing things. This shows me that when given no alternative, we can indeed learn new things.

When I consider how often in the past, fear may have prevented me from trying something new or inhibited me from moving outside of my comfort zone, it is empowering to think that we can adapt, adjust, and learn new skills, and ways of being. This is my 50th blog post so not only have I hit my accountability goal for writing but I have actually followed through on something I didn’t really think I could do.

A year ago, a kind and supportive family member assisted me in signing on to WordPress after a decade or more of thinking about starting a blog but not sure how to go about it. This adventure has not been about having the perfect blog format, or getting lots of readers and likes but has been about overcoming the fear I had about sharing my writing.

What I have learned is that the process of writing a post each week has actually laid the foundation for a solid writing practice. I have found confidence to send out pieces of writing for consideration in a variety of publications. Happily I have even published two stories in literary magazines and have solid outlines now for larger writing projects.

When I began this writing journey, I was filled with doubts about the process and my ability to actually post every week. Filled with new learning opportunities, this process has led to the knowledge that I can still acquire new skills and my plans and goals are becoming more and more clear. Couple this with the impact of the pandemic on my life, I have discovered that learning on the fly is not only achievable but necessary and life affirming. At this stage of my life, I can’t ask for anything more.

Stay healthy and safe!