Tag: positivity

Shifting Truths

What will be required to create meaningful, equitable change in our lives? Certain truths have become evident to me during this pandemic that suggest collectively we have the need to pause, reflect, and consider what is truly needed to make sustained and real change so we can move forward in a good way. Having vacillated between watching the news too often and not watching it at all, I thought I had achieved some type of balance. This past week I have found that my focus has once again been on what has been going on in the world around me.

Thinking about some of the larger issues that we must confront, has caused me to wonder if we are simply spinning without direction only to end up with just more of the same problems we had pre-pandemic. Consider news events over the past week – the focus has shifted from how will we safely reopen and stave off a second wave of the virus that has wreaked havoc across the world to a long overdue and serious dialogue about systemic racism.

Hundreds of thousands of people from across the globe have been involved in lending their voices to the Black Lives Matter protests in spite of the possible risks of spreading the coronavirus. Stories of racism that are being shared right now are heartbreaking and have precipitated a plethora of ideas about how to effect real changes.

One of the ideas that has been circulating through many communities is that police should be defunded. Journalists around the world are sharing news about more protests, petitions, and equally as many stories from politicians and police officials stating that they believe this is the wrong approach.

This seems to be a repeating process that we have seen with other critical issues such as climate change, the best strategies to manage this global pandemic, and better ways to care for the elderly and marginalized members of our society, etc. etc. Just as quickly as these stories are told, and shared widely we hear all of the rationale as to why suggested changes can’t be made. Point and counter point. Or worse yet, nothing more is written or discussed as the news cycles bring other issues forward.

During this time of loosening our lockdown, it seems more plausible that we might have an opportunity to come together to make changes that have been discussed for decades. There has been more emphasis on our collective global needs than ever before in my lifetime. So I can’t help wonder if this will be the moment in our history when we will change course en masse. Focus, tenacity, and individual commitment to change will be required on a large scale.

Electing politicians who are not narcissistic, self absorbed, and can be held to account would be a wonderful place to start. One can be criticized I suppose for dreaming of a kinder, more generous way of treating one another as well as a bonafide coming together to save our environment. But I don’t think that would stop me from writing about the need to do better than we are now. How about you? What do you think we should do to make a real impact at this time in our lives?

Embracing uncertainty

“We know we are no longer who we were, but we do not know who we will yet become”

Fred Mandell

Reinvention by its very nature is captivating and exciting. The possibility of personal renewal, embarking on a new career, or beginning a new relationship often captures our imagination. Nurturing our dreams and planning for a future that we have envisioned for ourselves is an essential part of who we are. But in order to do this, we must first learn to embrace uncertainty.

Making any type of change in our lives means that we are facing some degree of uncertainty. And for most of us, we are often quite adverse to altering our day to day lives. Consider how challenging it has been for many of us since we have begun social distancing and sheltering in place. We have moments where we may experience strong emotional reactions to the impact the coronavirus is having on our lives. This is compounded by the understanding that this will be our new normal for quite some time to come. Uncertainty is part of this new normal.

Fear, frustration, and the weight of our own expectations as well as those of others, could cause us to collapse. Or perhaps we become paralyzed by the emotions that surface during times of uncertainty or change. Indeed, believing that we should achieve something, or aspire to or do a certain thing, can force us blindly down a path that takes us further away from what we are meant to do.

These types of transition are often the most challenging for us but if we are able to find strategies to remain grounded, they can in fact become the most fruitful. I listened this morning to a podcast that was about sharing stories of youth in the child welfare system during this pandemic. One young woman spoke of having to live in a group home and not being able to leave or have people come to visit. At first, she recalled, this isolation from the world, caused her to experience feelings of depression but she talked about moving through that by learning to skateboard and to knit.

These grounding activities helped her not only get through this time of social isolation but she spoke about finally getting to know who she actually is. The hardest part of living through uncertainty and transition seems to happen for all of us regardless of the age or stage of life we are in.

But in the midst of challenge and chaos in our lives comes a hidden opportunity to discover those creative moments that signal to us what we are truly interested and passionate about, and to learn more about who we really are. And it is these learning moments that help to get us excited and motivated to prepare to make changes in our lives. If we choose to acknowledge our fears and take the time we need, to sit with ourselves to figure out where we want to go, our chances of reaching our new destination will increase.

Who knows what we will discover during this time of uncertainty if we reach out to embrace it?

Stay healthy and well!

Creativity fosters relevance

Much of the world has been in lockdown for the past few months and social media platforms are chock full of posts that display the many creative ventures that people have embarked upon. From baking sourdough bread to finding innovative methods of gardening in little to no space on an apartment balcony, there is evidence all around us of creativity and innovation.

Children do this naturally and as we reach adulthood many of us lose our natural ability to adapt, innovate, and pivot when faced with changing circumstances. This world crisis has given many of us ample opportunity to progress through boredom to create novel solutions to many problems that have been imposed by “staying together by staying apart.”

The need to find ways to reimagine how to do things in our lives in new ways also helps us to feel relevant. In some ways, this seems reminiscent to me of my first few months when I had retired from full time work. The need to feel relevant loomed large at that time and I had to relearn ways to adapt and live this new life so I could still feel like I mattered.

Watching the world lean in to doing things differently and considering a new normal has been inspiring. The creative spark has been electrified around the world at a time when chaos could have overwhelmed our spirit. From watching a local arts festival on my iPad at home to receiving an invitation for an international virtual convention for fellow professionals.

It seems there is no end to ways in which something can be created from nothing.

One of my favourite places is our local library and since it has been shuttered, there has been a proliferation of electronic resources added to our community system which everyone can now access with a digital password and pin number. Wonderful! Through one of the new additions to the electronic resource catalogue was an ebook where I found the following quote,

“I am motivated to create so I can shape my life with my actions. Life is not simply happening to me; I play an active role.”

Rebekah Younger, Be Awake, Create.

Stay healthy and safe!

Discovering some silver linings…

Strangely enough, there have been several facets of my life that seem to have actually improved during this pandemic. Moving from a fairly structured routine, that was governed by a variety of activities to our new normal where many activities are no longer available to us, has led to the creation of more flexible and adaptive aspects of daily living.

Exercise can take place outside when the weather permits and when it doesn’t then creating in home workouts has been necessary. Using exercise equipment like the rebounder that was gathering dust in storage and trying out a skipping rope after a twenty year hiatus have proven interesting to say the least. After initially fumbling my way through how to use both of these newly re-discovered pieces of equipment, I have discovered new muscles and a better sense of balance.

Overall, my physical health seems better and it likely can be attributed to having developed a new physical routine that has begun to challenge muscle groups that previously had begun to plateau. Doing some cursory google research has led me to understand that our bodies will plateau typically after a 6-8 week period of exercise sameness and unless you adjust and change things up, you no longer reap the benefits you may be hoping for. My former routine had become stagnant and I hadn’t even realized it.

So that got me thinking about plateaus, and other daily routines, and I wondered if our bodies require constant change in order to grow and stay healthy, this must be similar to what our brains need. Sure enough, greater cognitive flexibility is a precursor to a healthier brain and contributes to the neuroplasticity which helps us age “well”. How do we acquire cognitive flexibility? By having to adjust and adapt to changes, to having more opportunities to problem solve and to learning new skills and tasks.

Given that the coronavirus has been an ever present disruptor in our lives, we have all been forced to pivot, to adapt, and to adjust to the myriad of ways in which our lives have changed. Problem solving at times, seems to be a daily occurrence as many of our “old” ways of doing things have disappeared or are no longer available to us. Problem solving is critical for improved cognitive flexibility and it sparks creativity. Bonus!

Many of us have had to lean in to both learning and using technology in new and novel ways and for some of us, just learning to use it period. It has been fascinating to pay attention to the many new skills belonging to the technology realm that I have not only begun learning about but using with some proficiency. It has certainly enhanced some of the activities that I love such as reading and in my writing practice.

After reflecting on these changes in my life, I realize that these are valuable lessons that I have received as a result of the chaos that is occurring in this time. Seems there is a true silver lining in spite of these challenging times, and one that should be paid attention to for the long term. Hope you have discovered your own lessons learned during our time at home.

Stay healthy and well!

Navigating the New Normal

There was a point in this pandemic a couple of weeks ago when there were a plethora of examples of heartwarming and touching gestures that showed us how humans can connect and care for one another. From firefighters driving their trucks to the home of a child on his sixth birthday to provide celebratory greetings, to a quartet playing concertos outside a seniors assisted living facility to cheer locked in residents.

Windows filled with Hearts. Sidewalk chalk messages of hope and encouragement. Banging on pots and pans at the 7:00 p.m. shift change in healthcare settings. Good news stories have served as an antidote to buffer us from the information being shared about the pandemic 24/7 on our news channels. Stories of human compassion motivate us to stay the course for the common good.

It has been heartening to see some politicians behaving in the interests of their constituents and not playing politics at this chaotic and challenging time. Governments around the world have released resources to help people from many walks of life. And people across the globe were staying apart in order to help one another stay healthy and safe.

Countries were sending support and aid to one another and for a short period of time, it seemed as though sensitivity and decency was the silver lining in what we have been collectively experiencing. As the world moves forward to re-opening, it seems as though we are now running a three legged race. A few positive steps forward, with some jolting steps back. We have seen a mix of both the best and the worst forms of human behaviour.

Citizens living in one of the most heavily impacted nations demanding the lifting of restrictions by using assault weapons to reinforce their point on the steps of a legislature building. Another set of finger pointing exercises, veiled racism, and the spread of political conspiracies have emerged to take the place of humans simply wanting to help one another. Criticism, and harsh indictments without real substance, threaten our ability to treat others as we would wish to be treated.

Moving into this new normal means collectively we need to be strong in order to persevere in the face of selfishness, power mongering, and blatant insensitivity. Our health and well being depend on our willingness to place the simple act of caring for one another above politics, power, and greed. Let’s stand strong in the face of all of these distractions so we can get through these trying times together. Every action that you take to look after yourself as well as others is where our real power lies. Please make it count.

Stay healthy and stay safe!

“Focus and Finish”

My writer’s group has been connecting during the pandemic on What’s App. This was the first time I had used this tool and it has been a wonderful way to have short, meaningful conversations with my fellow writers in between our monthly Zoom meetings. It has been a source of inspiration, a sharing of resources that others in the group have discovered or have been using, and it has been about all things writing and has served as a terrific source of support.

One of the gems that one member of our writer’s group passed along was a new mantra she had been using that was short, snappy, and helpful to keep writing in spite of all of the distractions from the pandemic and the anxiety that has been a natural result of it. The mantra was simply, “Focus & Finish”.

As I have worked over the past five or six weeks to rebuild my daily routine, I have found myself sliding into a place of procrastination when it comes to writing. Typically, in the past, whenever I have noticed that I am procrastinating, I have been able to trace the root of why I am delaying doing something, to fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, and fear of judgement by others have been the usual reasons why my writing practice stalls.

I have several short stories that need editing so I can continue my long term goal of submitting my work for consideration to be published. Earlier this year I had committed to the process and set out to try and collect as many rejections as possible this year. Writing deadlines for open submissions as well as writing contests for short fiction are currently looming over my desk and I am struggling to find the motivation I need to finalize the edits needed and submit.

My experience with the COVID-19 pandemic seems have inadvertently created a previously unknown obstacle. My ability to focus on longer term goals has gone by the wayside as our lives hang in a weird kind of abeyance. Procrastination typically is a tug of way between what we hope for and wish to see in the future and the action we need to take in the present to accomplish those things.

And normally when procrastination makes itself known, it is fear that gets in the way.

But right now, I can’t identify any fears other than worries about COVID-19. And it seems to have been the spark for this current bout of procrastination in my life. This new inability to sit down and finish what I know has to be completed, has been a strange kind of struggle. I have come to recognize that it is likely an emotional coping response to the pandemic. So, when my writing colleague suggested that her mantra, “Focus & Finish” was helping her to keep going, I thought I would give it a try.

Has it worked?

Well sort of… I am still blogging, and I have at least opened the files of the pieces of writing that have need of my attention and editing efforts. I have created a sticky note with these two words and attached it to the side of my computer monitor and am going to try to overcome the pandemic anxiety which has inserted itself into my life as an unwelcome guest. I need to practice using the mantra and am hoping it will stick and help me move along.

“Focus & Finish.” “Focus & Finish.”

“Focus & Finish….

Stay healthy and well!

Life imitates the Stock Market

Since the declaration of the pandemic, the stock market has dipped lower and lower. Being a recent retiree, this has created considerable anxiety as I have watched my life savings plummeting, then recovering, only to plunge downward once again. My financial advisor has made several sage suggestions – don’t track your investments daily; recognize that you haven’t lost anything until you sell, and above all else – practice good self-care to reduce anxiety.

New routines, acts of incredible compassion and kindness along with the beginnings of adjustment to our new normal seem to be accompanied daily by tragic circumstances and chaos. The past few weeks have felt like we have either been travelling on a wicked roller coaster or that our lives have been mimicking the drastic swings of the stock market. It is disconcerting to say the least. Thankfully, we have also seen many high points…

We have seen an outpouring of appreciation for so many in our communities as we work collectively towards a common goal. We are appreciative of our health care workers who are guiding us through this pandemic and working hard at preparations in the event that this pandemic becomes worse than it already is. Many homes in our community sing, pound on pots, ring bells when the health care worker shift change occurs each evening at 7:00 p.m. For some people, it is also a time to safely say hello to neighbours.

There are so many unsung heroes that are worthy of our gratitude and appreciation. It is heartening to see the recognition being given for those in our world who previously have been the “invisible” work force. The collective awareness of work being done by our grocery store clerks, those who maintain our water, power, and sewage systems, our sanitation engineers, transit workers, and so many others whose work is essential and often unappreciated whose contributions are now being celebrated.

These moments of positivity, though are punctuated at times by sadness. From learning the daily death tolls that come from around the globe, the devastation this virus has had on the elderly in nursing homes, and the constantly shifting information that we hear about this virus day to day. Some of the lows also come from the politicization of this world challenge, having to watch protests over stay at home orders, and all of the game play that world power brokers and politicians indulge in at our expense.

The events in our lives seem to be moving from high points to low ones in a similar manner to the current fluctuations on the stock market.

This past week our country sustained another devastating crash as we have had to bear witness to what has been the worst mass murder in our nation’s history. Everyone has been stunned by the senseless killing compounded by our current experience of collective grieving. Our nation is moving as one and sending heartfelt messages to the victims of this crime and that has caused such searing pain to so many families. This has been further complicated by the physical distancing measures still in place.

How do we make sense of the many highs and lows that we are living through right now?

We all need constant reminders that just like the stock market that we will indeed, recover. This can only be done when we stand together. We each have a role to look out for one another and look after ourselves. Stay well and safe!

Gardening for the Future

With so many of our lives turned upside down from the COVID-19 pandemic, it is becoming crucial to find strategies and activities that have purpose and future orientation. Finding something that allows us to consider the future without worry about the novel coronavirus can be challenging. Having something to look forward to is both grounding and necessary for our mental well-being.

Many news stories are currently focused on the question around “how long will this crisis last”. Without a crystal ball, and by listening to medical experts who describe scientific models that chart and track the spread of this pandemic, can leave us feeling overwhelmed and anxious. None of us have a sense of what will occur over the next number of weeks or months.

My brother mentioned the concept of a “victory garden” to me last week and since then I have been using time on the internet to learn more about this phenomenon from the Second World War. Certainly this type of research has been both inspiring and has served to keep me from obsessively reading about our world crisis. People have always creatively used soil cultivation to grow food in ways to help others as well as themselves.

There are wonderful models of community and kitchen gardens that will likely flourish over the next couple of months. Gardening is a great activity to assist us in having a more future oriented focus. Watching seedlings pop up, preparing the soil (if it ever warms up!), and organizing and planning your garden design are great things to look forward to. Chatting with friends about seed exchanges and thinking about sharing seedlings and cuttings is a welcome diversion from today’s events.

In this early stage of spring, we can also consider growing vegetables, herbs, and some fruits for others. For neighbours who don’t have the space, for friends and family members, and for those in our lives who have lost their jobs at this time. We can also try and find extra spaces in our yards so we can contribute collectively to our food banks. Last year I noticed vegetables being grown along boulevards in our community and in other public spaces where you used to find grass.

Actually, the more I reflect on growing my garden this year, the more I realize the beneficial aspects of gardening for good mental health in addition to providing us with healthy food. Gardening as a physical activity uses muscles that we don’t often use throughout the winter months. Digging in soil has been shown to improve our immune systems and I have always found the feeling of earth in my fingers to be healing.

For parents now home with their children as schools have been closed, what a wonderful opportunity for education and enrichment by growing things. Collectively we can create opportunities for bees and butterflies to flourish and keep our ecosystems healthy. On this first day of April, I intend to plan my garden, order and pick up seeds on the curb of my favourite gardening centre. This day feels better already. Stay healthy and well!

Hearts of Hope

I ventured out of my house this morning at my usual time for a walk and found the lack of people out and dearth of traffic noises somewhat eerie. The birdsong, however, was cheerful and loud, heralding the coming of spring and warmer weather.

I wanted to see if there were hearts in the windows of homes in our neighbourhood or messages in the shape of a heart along my route. At the end of one of our national news programs last evening, there was a short segment about a movement that parents and children have embarked on to inspire hope in others.

Many homes in the news clip had colourful hearts taped to windows and there were hearts with messages posted on poles and trees. Children and parents around the world have been posting these hearts to support and encourage each other. These images have gone viral on numerous social media sites and have also been sent to people through text message and emails. It was a pleasant way to end a difficult and challenging news program.

Foot traffic along the biking/walking path I typically travel along has been light as people are staying home and being mindful of social distancing to try and slow the rate of the COVID-19 virus. Lately, when I encounter other walkers or people on their bikes, we smile politely in acknowledgement but try to maintain our distance. I have missed the morning conversations that I often have with friends and neighbours who are also out walking early each morning.

Along the path this morning, I found a large red heart tied to one of the trees in the park that lies adjacent to where I was walking. It wouldn’t withstand too many days of strong winds or spring rain but was still where someone had placed it, most likely two days ago. The message written upon it was difficult to make out, but seemed to contain a note that we will get through this time together.

Further along the path, there were sidewalk chalk messages, now partially erased from a schiff of snow yesterday, imploring us to look after one another, and to help each other out by staying apart. Some of the messages appeared to be written by children and others I imagine were crafted by parents.

Laying down these thoughts in pastel colours, I imagine that parents created these messages in heart shapes to reassure their children, to support others as well as to cultivate a sense of optimism for the future within themselves. The resilience of families in our community and willingness to care for and encourage others is a positive sign that we will, indeed, get through this together.

On the final leg of my morning walk, I wandered down the street towards my home and did find several homes with colourful hearts taped on the inside of their windows. I was pleased to have discovered these images close by. It was a comforting and welcome sight.

It was a different walking experience through my neighbourhood this morning but discovering the number of hearts taped on living room windows, and sidewalk chalk messages written in the shape of a heart, was uplifting and serves as a welcome beacon of hope. I hope that you, too, find hearts of hope in your neighbourhood.

Stay healthy and well.

Staying Emotionally Connected while practicing Social Distancing

The biggest tip of all to promote healthy emotions as we age is to find a way to help others. It is much more difficult to be depressed or dreary if you are working to make someone else’s life better.

Daniel J. Levitin

The closure of our local libraries due to COVID-19 preventative measures came just after I picked up a copy of Daniel J. Levitin’s 2020 book, “Successful Aging: A neuroscientist explores the power and potential of our lives.”

Amidst the many amazing pieces of information I am absorbing from this dense and fascinating read, are the many ways in which hundreds of neurotransmitters and neurohormones interact in complex ways and influence our psychological and physiological well being.

The critical impact that our social connections can have on our neurological and emotional well being was clear in his writing.

At the same time, I have been trying to figure out the ins and outs of what social distancing entails, the basics of where I can go, what I can do and who I should see. I have also been obsessively monitoring the local, national, and international world news on the coronavirus and its deadly spread across the globe.

Each time I leave my computer, I then wash my hands and am now applying salve as I am developing a rash from excessive hand washing.

With all that is going on in the world, it has been challenging to keep a positive frame of mind and emotional balance.

Following more reflection on how to safely connect with others, I have been using technology as much as possible to reach out to family and friends to see how they are faring in these difficult times.

It has made me realize that I should make these efforts routine in my life and there has in fact, been a positive emotional impact after connecting with those I care about. Reaching out to those in our families, and our social networks, does in fact, contribute to emotional well being. Doing it more frequently, especially when life returns to some sense of normalcy, will be important for us all.

Connect with those you care about in safe and positive ways. Wash your hands, practice social distancing, and stay healthy and safe.