Tag: positivity

Facing doubt

Anyone coming into this creative realm has to know that it’s not all “fun,” and, in many ways, the further into it you go and the more successful you become, the more the challenges intensify.

Dave Brosha

One unsettling aspect of the reinvention process is facing doubts. Doubts abound as we take on creative endeavours that are different from what we have engaged in before in our lives. Questions of competence can plague us and derail our dreams if we let them.

I have looked at the opportunity to develop a writing practice and to follow my interests and passions after retiring from full time work as both a gift and at times, a curse.

No one told me how much effort it takes to learn a new skill and to develop your craft. Writing is a solitary profession where feedback can be non-existent and the aloneness aspect can be overwhelming. The feedback and achievement loops that we become used to in our regular work lives, don’t exist in the same form in the writing world.

Quite the opposite actually. Rejection is purported to be the rule rather than the exception. I have even set a goal around the number of rejections I hope to receive this year. Seems a bit topsy turvy from the world I just left.

The time required for learning the craft of writing can be a sacrifice that isn’t understood when you start. The self-imposed pressure to produce and to find some type of rythym for writing can be draining. At times, I have felt like stopping before I even start.

How do you develop strategies to remain creatively energized and work through the process of bad writing until you find the hidden gems through the editing process.

Writers can form a community of support around you and it is critical to choose those who are actually interested in your success rather than putting themselves above where you are currently at with your struggle.

Facing doubt seems to be a part of the process and getting through it has a learning curve all on it’s own. Approaching this work with a light heart, an intense curiosity about the world around me, and a healthy sense of humour have been the strategies that have worked best for me so far.

What keeps you going when doubt seems overwhelming?

How do you know when it’s time to make a change in your life?

They always say time changes things but you actually have to change them yourself

Andy Warhol

Most of us experience fleeting moments where we wish that entire aspects of our lives were different. These thoughts often send us off into fantastical daydreams that may not seem grounded in reality. Sometimes these moments are inspiring and we envision making momentous changes that seemingly would alter our experience in the best possible way.

Perhaps we dream that we could do this without even having to put in all of the hard work involved in transformation and reinvention. Or without having the skills required to master a new pathway in our journey. Or maybe you have put in the hard work and acquired the requisite skills but still remain stuck in some way.

Other times we engage in negative and anxiety provoking visions of the worst possible scenarios that might occur if we did actually make any changes in our lives. We may know that negative thoughts might be holding us back but sometimes our tendency to ruminate keeps us stuck. Stopping negative thinking or simply choosing more positive thoughts are often not helpful when we truly desire making changes in our lives.

But what this type of thinking does do for us, is to signal to us that some aspect of our lives may need to change. When our thoughts are calling for us to pay attention, what do we do next? Engaging in reflection is critical for our resilience and well-being. Spending time to ponder what is working or not working in our lives can be powerful and may motivate a change that is needed. Taking stock by pondering questions allows us to cast our net as narrow or as wide as we feel comfortable with.

Some possible questions to consider when you can’t stop thinking about the need for change in your life:

How would growth opportunities make a difference for us, actually make our lives improve?

What is it that we truly wish to spend our time on?

What investments of time and effort are we realistically willing to devote your energy to?

How can we intentionally stretch ourselves?

Are we running away from some aspect of our life?

Or are we moving towards something that will have a profound impact on what we are going forward with in the future?

What holds us back from pursuing change? Fear? Lack of Support? Resources?

The process of guided reflection can be a helpful tool. These are some of the questions that I considered before I embarked on creating major changes in my life. How would you know that it is time to make some type of change in your life? What types of questions would you ask? I would appreciate hearing how your change or reinvention journey may have begun. Happy Wednesday!

What if everything that could go wrong does…?

Have you ever had a day that seems to be precisely what Murphy’s Law was all about? Where all of your plans and goals for the day no longer make any sense. And you end up moving from problem to problem before you can even consider solutions. Today seems to be that type of day.

More construction on our street has led to major disruption and has lasted for more than one day. We are unable to park close to our own home and now we have wickedly cold weather, high winds, and blowing snow. Who knows if the car will even start and certainly will require some shovelling out.

The noise of the heavy duty machinery being used is off the charts. Aside from rendering concentration to write virtually impossible, my terrified cat is desperately trying to find the ultimate spot to hide from all of this. However, everywhere she goes, the noise does not subside so she is constantly seeking me out and I have tripped over her many times.

No bruises yet for either myself or the cat!

Vibrations from the trench being dug across from our home seemed to have caused little screws in my office bookcase to work their way loose. Amid the cacophony of construction from outside, we heard a tremendous crash that came from inside of the house. Bounding up the stairs to see what happened, I was dismayed to find books cascading all across the floor. The book case had fallen apart and didn’t appear salvageable.

Apparently the fix will require a special type of screw so with books now stacked all over the floor of my office, I am trying to pretend this atmosphere is serene enough to write in. Once I finally achieve a sense of calm, it is quickly interrupted and followed by loud noise from the earth diggers outside. This is accompanied by an eerie shaking throughout our older house that worries me. Dust I didn’t know was even here has been loosened and lightly covers floors and furnishings.

Now there is a water problem. I am sure we could have predicted that one. It is unclear how many more days of this we have to get through but after trying to find escape by watching television, it seems that all of our problems are minuscule compared to what is happening in so many parts of our world.

A good reminder about the importance of putting life’s challenges in perspective. Happy Wednesday!

Pathways to Possibilities

“To dream anything that you want to dream. That’s the beauty of the human mind. To do anything that you want to do. That is the strength of the human spirit.”

Bernard Edmonds

As we celebrate this January 1st, of 2020, we have the opportunity in front of us to explore the promise and possibilities in our lives. The path to reinvention begins with a blank canvas and allows all of us a chance to create our own next steps.

Just think. It will be another ten years before we have a new day, of a new year in a new decade. As I consider this, the following questions are bubbling to the surface as I explore the pathways and possibilities of what I want my future life to look like.

What shape and form will your life take over the next decade?

What changes in your life are calling you?

Do you focus attention on thoughts and ideas that you may have placed on a shelf?

Perhaps this is the year to bring them to fruition.

Is this the decade where you make conscious choices rather than allowing life to carry you along?

Are you willing and able to turn off that critical voice in your head that challenges your growth?

By becoming committed to our ideas, hopes, and dreams, the path forward seems bright and exciting. What questions and thoughts are you considering on this first day of the new year in this 2020 decade?

Happy new year!

A challenging search for the spirit of this festive season…

This Christmas Eve…began with a series of unexpected events that threatened my vision and hopes for a calm, peaceful day with family that I hoped would be touched by joyful spirits, some quiet reflection, and opportunity for fellowship.

Deep in sleep early this morning, I vaguely heard pounding on our front door. Did you hear that, I said to my husband…receiving no answer from him. Then the pounding was even louder and I could hear my cat begin to growl. Grabbing my robe, looking out the window to discover flashing yellow lights, I raced down the stairs and opened the door only to discover no one there.

But…there was a blue sign hanging from our mailbox – one which I have seen far too many times this year.

Water works – Repair service – the dreaded blue information pamphlet dropped off to let you know that your water would be shut off for the day while the city repaired another water main break.

I run back up the stairs to wake my husband and get him to help me fill containers, when the pounding on the front door began again. Rushing back down the stairs to open the door, I came face to face with a city employee who told me that the water main would be repaired today and there would be no water service for the day starting in about 30 minutes. Oh and could you please move our vehicle off the street.

Oh and by the way, have a Merry Christmas!

More rushing around to have an incredibly quick shower, fill containers with water, move the vehicle off the street, and avoid stepping on the cat who by this point was very hungry and wanted someone to pay attention to that. Now.

So with shower finished, containers filled, cat fed, vehicle moved to another street we thought we were done. I turned on a tap just to check but our water was still on? Large trucks hauling what was needed to dig up the street and the other trucks with equipment began leaving our street. The barricade to close the street had been removed. What was going on?

Frustrated with the frantic rushing and preparations for a day without water, we decided to leave and go out to have breakfast. Breakfast complete, starting to feel more relaxed, we stopped at our bank. Parked and then watched in amazement as a parking ticket person was walking along the street ticketing cars. Seemed a bit spiteful on this particular day.

Finished our tasks at the bank, and headed off to a big box store to clarify delivery of an item that was not to be shipped to our home until after the new year but we had just been notified it was on it’s way. After standing in line for customer service and then being treated in a spectacularly rude and dismissive fashion with the issue still unresolved, we decided to head for home. Enough.

I decided that a walk in our neighbourhood park was in order, and set out along the path close to our home. Along the way, I tried to push aside the strong feelings of frustration that had emerged unexpectedly from the events of the morning. About half way along, I thought I should pick up the pace and see if that might help to dissipate what was becoming a negative mood.

After walking at a much faster pace, I came upon the small valley that our community uses for tobogganing. I could hear children laughing, screaming with glee as they flew down the small hills. Parents were chatting, enjoying the mild December morning, and the mood here was definitely upbeat and positive. Certainly more so than the one in my head. I decided to stand off to the side of the hills and watch the fun for awhile.

After a short period of time, a small child, dressed in purple snow pants, a parka with splashy colourful flowers on it, and a bright purple tongue walked right up and stood beside me. This tiny child, a girl, looking up at me, smiled, the kind of smile that made her eyes sparkle, and simply said, Merry Christmas. And walked away to join her family.

I realized in that moment that I had finally found the spirit of this festive season that had been out of my reach for most of this day. In a much better frame of mind, I finished my walk and returned home.

I hope that the spirit of this season touches you and those you care about.

Merry Christmas!

Writing exercise for reinvention

As I end this year, I continue my reflection on my progress along this reinvention journey that I have been travelling on. My writing practice, which I typically find energizes both mind and spirit, has slowed and deepened. I find that I have been generating lists. Reflecting on them. Writing more lists. Lists and more lists.

Lists of things I tried and did not work out.

Lists of things I tried and did work out.

Lists of things I tried and did work out and now I no longer want to do.

Lists of things that I haven’t tried but want to.

Lists of things I haven’t tried but am afraid to.

Lists of things I don’t know how to even get started at.

So…I listened to a podcast featuring a woman named Meryl Cook who is a journal writer, artist, and creativity consultant. She described an ongoing exercise she does as part of her reinvention process that she called writing your What If’s. The exercise is to dream wildly and write What If you actually did that thing you have been thinking and dreaming of. What If you had the money, the time, the freedom to actually do that thing?

Use a What If exercise if you need to reframe things that are not going well in your life. What If you could actually do what you need skills and knowledge for but don’t yet have? What If you could actually do what you really want to but fear or busyness or something else gets in the way.

What If by writing down these wild dreams my reinvention journey is strengthened? What if some of the dreams I write down actually come true? My list writing to evaluate how my year has gone has now been replaced by What If exercises. What If the What If writing for reinvention exercise is actually helpful? I look forward to the upcoming year and using this What If writing exercise.

Time for Reflection on Writing, Blogging, and Life

December has traditionally been a busy month, filled with long to do lists, and expectations that we have of ourselves as well as of others. This all gets layered onto our lives in addition to all of the regular routines and responsibilities that we have. Sometimes it is all too easy to focus on the stresses of the upcoming festive season without taking the much needed opportunity to step back and reflect on the past year.

Typically, that comes in January for many of us.

This year I intend to use this last month of the year for mindful review, and as an opportunity to get grounded by reflecting on my writing practice, this blogging adventure, and assessing my reinvention efforts over this past year.

Reflective writing can provide an opportunity to reframe and re-write the times during this past year that were challenging or stressful. It is powerful to realize that we can re-create our narrative and move forward without having to stay stuck in a negative story. This can help us counter-act rumination, worries, and negative thoughts that may cause us to spiral out of emotional control.

Blogging about this has elevated my own personal agency and accountability as a writer. I am realizing how important the habits of writing, story telling, and blogging have become in my life. The energy and excitement I feel when I read the blogs of other writers has served a purpose in my life that I didn’t expect. Writing, and connecting with other story tellers, reminds me that our shared human experience, although at times seems similar, is often different and therefore illuminating.

We can stay stuck in stories of stress or we can move forward to embrace stories of gratitude and resilience. Reflection through the act of writing allows us to witness both our own lives as well as to have glimpses into the lives of others which elevates our potential for positive growth and transformation.

During the times that I have been thinking about this post, I have realized that contemplative time through writing and blogging should become a positive habit and not an occasional luxury. Becoming mindful of the stressors that build within us during this time of the year allows us to slow down, touch the positives in life when events seem overwhelming and unmanageable.

The process of writing and blogging seems to have informed me about the choices that I am making in life and by taking time for reflection, I have this amazing opportunity to get grounded and ready for all that may come in the new year. Stepping back, I also realize that reflection through writing is a skill that requires practice and effort.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.

Carl Jung

How do you use writing as a reflective practice? What other strategies have you used or learned about to remain grounded during this busy time of the year? Please share your thoughts about this, I would appreciate hearing them.