Author: Linda Meyer

What if everything that could go wrong does…?

Have you ever had a day that seems to be precisely what Murphy’s Law was all about? Where all of your plans and goals for the day no longer make any sense. And you end up moving from problem to problem before you can even consider solutions. Today seems to be that type of day.

More construction on our street has led to major disruption and has lasted for more than one day. We are unable to park close to our own home and now we have wickedly cold weather, high winds, and blowing snow. Who knows if the car will even start and certainly will require some shovelling out.

The noise of the heavy duty machinery being used is off the charts. Aside from rendering concentration to write virtually impossible, my terrified cat is desperately trying to find the ultimate spot to hide from all of this. However, everywhere she goes, the noise does not subside so she is constantly seeking me out and I have tripped over her many times.

No bruises yet for either myself or the cat!

Vibrations from the trench being dug across from our home seemed to have caused little screws in my office bookcase to work their way loose. Amid the cacophony of construction from outside, we heard a tremendous crash that came from inside of the house. Bounding up the stairs to see what happened, I was dismayed to find books cascading all across the floor. The book case had fallen apart and didn’t appear salvageable.

Apparently the fix will require a special type of screw so with books now stacked all over the floor of my office, I am trying to pretend this atmosphere is serene enough to write in. Once I finally achieve a sense of calm, it is quickly interrupted and followed by loud noise from the earth diggers outside. This is accompanied by an eerie shaking throughout our older house that worries me. Dust I didn’t know was even here has been loosened and lightly covers floors and furnishings.

Now there is a water problem. I am sure we could have predicted that one. It is unclear how many more days of this we have to get through but after trying to find escape by watching television, it seems that all of our problems are minuscule compared to what is happening in so many parts of our world.

A good reminder about the importance of putting life’s challenges in perspective. Happy Wednesday!

Pathways to Possibilities

“To dream anything that you want to dream. That’s the beauty of the human mind. To do anything that you want to do. That is the strength of the human spirit.”

Bernard Edmonds

As we celebrate this January 1st, of 2020, we have the opportunity in front of us to explore the promise and possibilities in our lives. The path to reinvention begins with a blank canvas and allows all of us a chance to create our own next steps.

Just think. It will be another ten years before we have a new day, of a new year in a new decade. As I consider this, the following questions are bubbling to the surface as I explore the pathways and possibilities of what I want my future life to look like.

What shape and form will your life take over the next decade?

What changes in your life are calling you?

Do you focus attention on thoughts and ideas that you may have placed on a shelf?

Perhaps this is the year to bring them to fruition.

Is this the decade where you make conscious choices rather than allowing life to carry you along?

Are you willing and able to turn off that critical voice in your head that challenges your growth?

By becoming committed to our ideas, hopes, and dreams, the path forward seems bright and exciting. What questions and thoughts are you considering on this first day of the new year in this 2020 decade?

Happy new year!

A challenging search for the spirit of this festive season…

This Christmas Eve…began with a series of unexpected events that threatened my vision and hopes for a calm, peaceful day with family that I hoped would be touched by joyful spirits, some quiet reflection, and opportunity for fellowship.

Deep in sleep early this morning, I vaguely heard pounding on our front door. Did you hear that, I said to my husband…receiving no answer from him. Then the pounding was even louder and I could hear my cat begin to growl. Grabbing my robe, looking out the window to discover flashing yellow lights, I raced down the stairs and opened the door only to discover no one there.

But…there was a blue sign hanging from our mailbox – one which I have seen far too many times this year.

Water works – Repair service – the dreaded blue information pamphlet dropped off to let you know that your water would be shut off for the day while the city repaired another water main break.

I run back up the stairs to wake my husband and get him to help me fill containers, when the pounding on the front door began again. Rushing back down the stairs to open the door, I came face to face with a city employee who told me that the water main would be repaired today and there would be no water service for the day starting in about 30 minutes. Oh and could you please move our vehicle off the street.

Oh and by the way, have a Merry Christmas!

More rushing around to have an incredibly quick shower, fill containers with water, move the vehicle off the street, and avoid stepping on the cat who by this point was very hungry and wanted someone to pay attention to that. Now.

So with shower finished, containers filled, cat fed, vehicle moved to another street we thought we were done. I turned on a tap just to check but our water was still on? Large trucks hauling what was needed to dig up the street and the other trucks with equipment began leaving our street. The barricade to close the street had been removed. What was going on?

Frustrated with the frantic rushing and preparations for a day without water, we decided to leave and go out to have breakfast. Breakfast complete, starting to feel more relaxed, we stopped at our bank. Parked and then watched in amazement as a parking ticket person was walking along the street ticketing cars. Seemed a bit spiteful on this particular day.

Finished our tasks at the bank, and headed off to a big box store to clarify delivery of an item that was not to be shipped to our home until after the new year but we had just been notified it was on it’s way. After standing in line for customer service and then being treated in a spectacularly rude and dismissive fashion with the issue still unresolved, we decided to head for home. Enough.

I decided that a walk in our neighbourhood park was in order, and set out along the path close to our home. Along the way, I tried to push aside the strong feelings of frustration that had emerged unexpectedly from the events of the morning. About half way along, I thought I should pick up the pace and see if that might help to dissipate what was becoming a negative mood.

After walking at a much faster pace, I came upon the small valley that our community uses for tobogganing. I could hear children laughing, screaming with glee as they flew down the small hills. Parents were chatting, enjoying the mild December morning, and the mood here was definitely upbeat and positive. Certainly more so than the one in my head. I decided to stand off to the side of the hills and watch the fun for awhile.

After a short period of time, a small child, dressed in purple snow pants, a parka with splashy colourful flowers on it, and a bright purple tongue walked right up and stood beside me. This tiny child, a girl, looking up at me, smiled, the kind of smile that made her eyes sparkle, and simply said, Merry Christmas. And walked away to join her family.

I realized in that moment that I had finally found the spirit of this festive season that had been out of my reach for most of this day. In a much better frame of mind, I finished my walk and returned home.

I hope that the spirit of this season touches you and those you care about.

Merry Christmas!

The Magic of the Mundane

“mundane, adj. – 1. ordinary, everyday, humdrum 2. of this world, not of heaven.”

Canadian Collins Gage Dictionary

During this festive season we may find ourselves frantically searching for the perfect gift or attending yet another social event. We may be anxiously planning and preparing for our family and friends to sit down and celebrate by having a spectacular holiday meal. It can be a welcome relief to step back out of the fray.

Driven by the forces of crass consumerism, managing our expectations for this festive season becomes truly challenging. Finding parking spots and braving crowds of Christmas shoppers, can induce panic and overwhelm. Being able to remember what you learned in a mindfulness course and actually apply those skills can be beyond our capabilities in the moment.

Taking the time to appreciate what we already do have and the routines that we engage in on a daily basis can be like applying a healing salve to our souls. True reflection on what we often miss by being too busy, too overwhelmed, or too anxious, can take a back seat to what happens in our daily lives.

Take a moment to reflect on the last 24 hours, what did you see, what did you hear, what did you feel, and what were you able to connect with?

Did you notice the rich aroma when your coffee was brewing? Savour and enjoy that first delicious sip?

Catch a glimpse of purple and pink streaks lining the sky at sunrise through frost covered glass?

Hear the neighbourhood children playfully teasing each other while walking to catch the school bus?

Watching the dish soap bubbles pop and move while doing the dishes?

Being amazed by your cat’s ability to contort into yoga poses while preparing to settle into an easy chair and go to sleep?

Finding a new wrinkle on your loved one’s face, reminding you of how long and deep your love for them truly is?

All of these things which may happen in our moment to moment lives, are easily taken for granted. They are just the ordinary aspects of life, the background noise, what always happens, and we often consider them to be just mundane. With the pressure and emphasis to create and manage many expectations during this festive season, we might just miss the magic of the mundane which fills our daily lives.

Let’s take the time in our busy lives to step back and appreciate the magic of the mundane.

Best wishes for a Happy Holiday season!!

Writing exercise for reinvention

As I end this year, I continue my reflection on my progress along this reinvention journey that I have been travelling on. My writing practice, which I typically find energizes both mind and spirit, has slowed and deepened. I find that I have been generating lists. Reflecting on them. Writing more lists. Lists and more lists.

Lists of things I tried and did not work out.

Lists of things I tried and did work out.

Lists of things I tried and did work out and now I no longer want to do.

Lists of things that I haven’t tried but want to.

Lists of things I haven’t tried but am afraid to.

Lists of things I don’t know how to even get started at.

So…I listened to a podcast featuring a woman named Meryl Cook who is a journal writer, artist, and creativity consultant. She described an ongoing exercise she does as part of her reinvention process that she called writing your What If’s. The exercise is to dream wildly and write What If you actually did that thing you have been thinking and dreaming of. What If you had the money, the time, the freedom to actually do that thing?

Use a What If exercise if you need to reframe things that are not going well in your life. What If you could actually do what you need skills and knowledge for but don’t yet have? What If you could actually do what you really want to but fear or busyness or something else gets in the way.

What If by writing down these wild dreams my reinvention journey is strengthened? What if some of the dreams I write down actually come true? My list writing to evaluate how my year has gone has now been replaced by What If exercises. What If the What If writing for reinvention exercise is actually helpful? I look forward to the upcoming year and using this What If writing exercise.

Time for Reflection on Writing, Blogging, and Life

December has traditionally been a busy month, filled with long to do lists, and expectations that we have of ourselves as well as of others. This all gets layered onto our lives in addition to all of the regular routines and responsibilities that we have. Sometimes it is all too easy to focus on the stresses of the upcoming festive season without taking the much needed opportunity to step back and reflect on the past year.

Typically, that comes in January for many of us.

This year I intend to use this last month of the year for mindful review, and as an opportunity to get grounded by reflecting on my writing practice, this blogging adventure, and assessing my reinvention efforts over this past year.

Reflective writing can provide an opportunity to reframe and re-write the times during this past year that were challenging or stressful. It is powerful to realize that we can re-create our narrative and move forward without having to stay stuck in a negative story. This can help us counter-act rumination, worries, and negative thoughts that may cause us to spiral out of emotional control.

Blogging about this has elevated my own personal agency and accountability as a writer. I am realizing how important the habits of writing, story telling, and blogging have become in my life. The energy and excitement I feel when I read the blogs of other writers has served a purpose in my life that I didn’t expect. Writing, and connecting with other story tellers, reminds me that our shared human experience, although at times seems similar, is often different and therefore illuminating.

We can stay stuck in stories of stress or we can move forward to embrace stories of gratitude and resilience. Reflection through the act of writing allows us to witness both our own lives as well as to have glimpses into the lives of others which elevates our potential for positive growth and transformation.

During the times that I have been thinking about this post, I have realized that contemplative time through writing and blogging should become a positive habit and not an occasional luxury. Becoming mindful of the stressors that build within us during this time of the year allows us to slow down, touch the positives in life when events seem overwhelming and unmanageable.

The process of writing and blogging seems to have informed me about the choices that I am making in life and by taking time for reflection, I have this amazing opportunity to get grounded and ready for all that may come in the new year. Stepping back, I also realize that reflection through writing is a skill that requires practice and effort.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.

Carl Jung

How do you use writing as a reflective practice? What other strategies have you used or learned about to remain grounded during this busy time of the year? Please share your thoughts about this, I would appreciate hearing them.

4 Powerful Life Habits that are never too late to fully embrace

As I move along in my journey of reinvention, I have been in a process of continual evaluation of what works in my life and what doesn’t. There are many strategies and tools we can all use to live healthier lives. But often we feel too busy, too overwhelmed, or too stressed to focus on our own needs.

Through this process of self-reflection, I have landed on four life habits that I intend to focus on as I move forward on this journey.

  1. Embrace relationships and adopt an anti-age segregation approach – Over the past thirty years I have often found myself intending to call friends or family members only to place that thought on hold because I told myself that life just gets in the way. Friendships require time, attention, and nurturing and family members may be far away both geographically and emotionally. As you age, the scope of your relationships can become very narrow and your risks of loneliness and all of the subsequent health impacts increase unless you are proactive. Developing relationships with people of all ages exposes us to more interests, opportunities, and a deeper understanding about our lives as well as those of others.
  2. Engage in work or activities that sustain passion and provide your life with meaning – Full time work is not the only activity that we can do as we age that provides opportunity to fulfill our passions and life purpose. Finding any activity that both energizes us, aligns with our values, and stretches our ability to learn and grow is important. What seems to be key is that we have to both embrace and enjoy whatever it is that we choose to do.
  3. Adopt a life long learning habit – Although this may sound like a cliched concept, research from the field of neuroscience suggests that to enhance the brains ability to create new neural pathways, it is critical that we not stop learning new things. The current craze of crossword puzzles, sudoku puzzles, etc., while not harmful, may not stem the tide of dementias as promised. This knowledge is now surpassed by understanding that our brains actually benefit from learning new things and being challenged by the process. Learning new things may be uncomfortable at first, but if we persevere, the gains can be significant.
  4. Adopt healthy habits as soon as possible – (Or it is never too late). Most of us are aware (sometimes painfully so) that our health habits related to proper nutrition, exercise and movement throughout the day can help us achieve our longevity goals. By reducing and eventually avoiding harmful practices such as smoking or vaping cigarettes, drinking excessive amounts of alcohol or abusing other substances, or eating junk or unhealthy amounts of food, we have the ability to turn our health status around no matter what our age. Perhaps most critically is the manner in which we internally talk to ourselves about some of our less desirable habits. Having the ability to counter some of our own negative self-talk and be compassionate towards ourselves can take us forward in a positive way.

These are the healthy habits I am trying to commit to building more mindfully into my life. What are your strategies for living a healthier life? I would love to hear what you and others around you are doing. We only have one life to live and it is a work in progress for all of us.

Retired: But Currently Working…

Over the past couple of weeks, I have been asked on several occasions why I am still working (part-time) when I am “supposed to be retired”. In a teasing type of manner, I have replied that I’m not dead yet and still think I have things to share and contribute to the world around me. And the responses that I have received back have been eerily similar.

Each person who asked me this question, told me that they thought that retirement was to be a time of rest and relaxation. And I had a strange sense that they thought I was doing something wrong by working. Perhaps they thought that it would interfere with my new retired lifestyle.

Many folks who leave full time work continue to work part-time, or try out other types of full time work that differ from their previous careers. It seems unrealistic to imagine a life where for, perhaps, as long as thirty or more years, one stops contributing in some way to the world in which they live. And, there are so many ways to continue to have purpose, provide value, and to feel like a valued member of our communities. Working is only one such strategy.

I often feel as though I am in a situation where I haven’t yet decided what to do with my life. I have been setting some goals, learning new skills, pursuing my passion for writing but I still have a strong sense that my next chapter has not yet to become fully formed in my mind’s eye. Working part-time, gives me the flexibility to earn some income while the vision for the next steps takes shape.

There are differences in my approach to working life now. I have the good fortune to choose when and if I will take on some work and can structure work to fit within my new lifestyle. I can work more at some times than others. I truly feel as though I am no longer a part of the long working hours culture and am able to achieve a level of happiness from my occasional work opportunities.

The badge of “busyness” that many of us ascribe to does not have the meaning it once did, nor do I have the desire or inclination to just be “busy”. Learning to meet other needs such as focusing attention on my health, spending more time with family and friends, choosing to take classes that teach me new skills and further my current interests are now my priority. I am able to pursue what really interests me and I find that just being able to do that, in and of itself, can be a joyful surprise.

But, I still like to work some of the time, and will continue to pursue professional development opportunities that I ironically I actually used to be too busy for. Many of the skills that I have developed over my career are easily transferrable and have allowed me to move forward to new opportunities. This transition has proven to be dynamic and multifaceted in ways that I hadn’t anticipated.

When I was ready to retire a couple of years ago, I had already begun a process of disengagement. Following a period of creative reflection to explore what I want to be in this part of my life experience, has led me to re-engage with the work world on my own terms. I appreciate that I am now able to take the time I need to re-develop my identity during this period of transition. When I pause to think about some of the conversations that I have had recently, I realize that I am quite content to consider myself, Retired but currently working.

Retirement, writing…and the beginner’s mind

Life changes of any kind often leave us in an emotional limbo where we may experience strong sensations of being off balance. Navigating this anxiety provoking tightrope can be challenging indeed.

The old saying, be careful what you wish for, has popped into my mind more than once over the past couple of months. Dreaming for years of having both the time and the freedom to become a writer seemed to be a beacon along the path of a busy life full of family and work obligations. Fantasizing about creating a writer’s den where creative thoughts and activities would abound when I retired was one of my favourite pastimes.

Now that time is here. The part of this new life that never occurred to me was the fact that I would be starting to learn a new set of skills and would have to cultivate a beginner’s mind to appreciate both the learning process as well as the inevitable stumbles along the way.

At a writing workshop I attended not long ago, the instructor spoke of how irritating it could be to hear people state that they intend to write a book in the future as though it would happen with ease. The instructor revealed that most people practically have no concept of how demanding and taxing the work of writing can be. Writing, both art and craft, requires all of the activities you find in learning any new skill. Practice, learning to fail, and developing micro skills one step at a time are all in play on your road to any type of writing success.

When you read a strong piece of writing, it often does little to reveal all of the sweat equity and investment that have to coalesce in order for the writer to arrive with a successful finished product. Learning to have patience, to practice with no end or deliverable required, spending more hours rewriting than actually putting words on the page, are all a part of the beginning writer’s reality.

So how do you cultivate what is often referred to as the beginner’s mind?

Reflecting on past new beginnings in our lives can be helpful. What were my emotional and psychological experiences when I entered high school, university, got married, started my career, had a family? Using a journaling approach to answer questions about these previous life transitions, taught me that I have forgotten how hard life changes can actually be. They are scary, feel threatening, place you on very steep learning curves, and require you to reach out for support at times.

They also mean that you have to become kind and compassionate with yourself as you are learning new skills and going through the trial and error process that is all part and parcel of the beginner’s state of mind. Most importantly, I think I am beginning to accept that it is okay to experience many different emotions as I navigate this new stage of life and struggle to develop new skills as a writer. And that this is okay.

Intrinsic satisfaction – another way to measure blogging success.

We use a variety of measures in many stages of our lives to determine whether or not we have been successful. Most of us will have some perspective on the shape of our lives as it unfolds and whether or not we believe that we have achieved some measure of success. Most often we measure ourselves and the worth of our activities based on external factors.

In the field of work, an entire industry exists to create numerous metrics by which we can measure our achievements. In the world of sport, we either win or we lose. In the world of the arts, we create and assign success by whether or not others either purchase our works or admire them in some way. In the political realm, you are either voted in or you are voted out.

Long lasting relationships are often deemed to be successful, and family members sometimes measure their self worth based on achievements of their partners or their children. For some of us, the number of friends we have has become a symbol often used to assess our self worth.

Since I have started blogging, I have read many posts on how to develop your brand and write about your niche. There are many strategies and techniques described and shared so you can have readers follow you, like your posts, etc. Content concepts seem to outshine the creative process of writing. One begins to wonder if the way to determine the achievement of blogging success can only be determined by statistics.

When was the last time you did any activity in your life without the expectation of measuring up, without checking the graphs, number of likes, and analysis of insights?

What if you enjoy becoming lost in the flow of writing and posting ideas that emerge in a creative daily life with the hopes of engaging others but not worrying about whether or not the idea measures up through statistical analysis?

Is it possible to create, connect, and enjoy the writing that abounds in this blogging world simply for the pleasure of the experience? Surely, if we could quantify and measure our intrinsic satisfaction, it would precede any other measures of success that we strive to achieve.